welcome
to yoururl.blogspot.com
be my escape- relient k
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Title:
Comments:
Days haven't been any good, so far.
Funny how it takes a million and one things for us to feel truly happy, but a few small and isolated incidents to bring all the gloom back into this world. Worse when nothing seems to be able to offset all the darkness, not for an extended period of time anyhow.
Been promising myself each day that it'll be the day when I start working hard for my promos, but as each day flows along, I find a hundred and one reasons to put that promise off and make myself feel less guilty about sleeping the many hours of my life away. Sickening cough that's plagued me endlessly since last week doesn't do wonders either. Bouts of coughing make my head spin while making me sound like a damn TB patient, all at the same time.
Haven't been faring all that well for tests, the only small consolations are that I'm still not failing that much...Yet. Work's getting harder, assignments' getting tougher while there seems to be less and less free time everyday. But then again, it may very well just be me.
Lessons today were really draggy, typical of every tues that's passed and every tues that's yet to come. Managed to get some maths done during tutorial, I miss that short length of time in the beginning of this year when maths' was actually fun, for the first time in my life. Still owe him my maths file, thank goodness the final due date's next monday. Chem and bio were alright, i suppose, largely due to the fact that the teachers are always really nice. Chi and econs were...i dunno, nothing to talk about. GP was really bad, I see, mean...really really see now what the rest of the class has been talking about since the first day she's stepped into the classroom. Not looking forward to thursday, that's for sure.
Somehow, I see the gulf between us getting wider and wider, more and more distinct with every passing day. Maybe it's because of a presence, or perhaps it's due to the fact that our lives just never seem to have anything in common anymore. But whatever it is, this barrier between the two of us appears to be growing larger and less translucent. I guess it's not up to me how this friendship will turn out in the end anymore. But let's just wait and see. -shrugs.
There's a million and one things around me whose outcomes that I can't control everyday, and this sense of helplessness is driving me insane. Has it always been this way? Or did something really wrong happen along the way?
For all of my unhappiness, for all of my grievances, I know that there are others out there who've been feeling really down too. To you, all of you: Life's a bitch but we've still got to fight yes? I hope that you'll feel better soon, and that you know, your friends will always be here for you. Takecare lots, really. Love.
